My one word from 2011 kind of flopped. It’s not because I didn’t work on it (though I didn’t really). It’s because I knew what God wanted for me and I deliberately went in a different direction because I was afraid of what he could do in my heart. Hey, Jonah! Let’s be BFFs!
My word for last year was redeemed. In reality, the word God put on my heart was humility. I knew that and all year I wrestled with it. Working on humility hurts, but working on redemption is easy. Redemption means grace and forgiveness and accepting that though I am broken, I am saved. Humility means dying to myself, losing myself, putting God above all and others above me.
This year I didn’t work on redemption, but it kind of happened to me, and in the midst of that, maybe humility sort of happened to me too (though it sounds prideful to say that). This year I learned what grace looks like. I have always been the girl to get good grades and make (mostly) straight-edge decisions, but I am far from perfect. God showed me that. He turned on the light in my ugly heart and showed me all the ugliness I’d been avoiding. He showed me how imperfect I am and how much I really do need him to redeem me.
I learned what it is to be a sinner and what that means in my relationship with Christ. I am nothing without him. He is everything and must be my everything. In understanding my imperfections and in seeing my own ugly heart, God showed me how to give grace and how to love others no matter what they have done or who they are or what they will do and who they will become.
Once you realize how imperfect you are, it’s difficult to judge other people for their imperfections. We’re all broken people, all desperately in need of redemption. When you know that, giving grace and love to other broken people doesn’t feel so difficult anymore.