“God is good even when there’s no good in you. He will still continue to bless you, not because you are good, but because of his love for you.”
I saw this quote somewhere on pinterest and it caught me. I don’t really believe it. Well, I do. I believe it can be true, but I don’t see it. It’s just hard.
It’s hard when God
asks tells me to believe, but my faith is too small to see. It’s hard when it all seems to come at once. It’s hard when there is absolutely. nothing. I. can. do. It’s hard because I want to have faith but I second guess everything I think I’m supposed to do with my life when it’s difficult like this.
I wonder if I was ever living God’s plan for me in the first place.
My loans haven’t gone through yet for SPU and I’m scared. I’m a senior. I’m in a small major that requires me to take classes that are only offered every other year. I need these classes to graduate. I start school on Monday, as in one day from now. And currently I’m still a bit short on finances. I don’t have a cosigner so I’m hoping and praying that my credit is good enough, my application was pristine, my cause is worthy enough for God to fulfill this part of my life.
But it’s not about me and it’s not about a worthy cause.
And I don’t have a car. Again. I am working part time and schooling full time and living an hour and a half bus ride away from school. That commute is hard on my work schedule. Nearly impossible, really. It makes my hours difficult to work with. It makes my time very strained. So I’m hoping and praying that someone will let me borrow their car or that my work schedule will miraculously fall in line with my bus schedule, and that my cause is worthy enough for God to fulfill.
God, what IN THE WORLD do you have for me?
And how can YOUR GLORY be shown through my life?
What’s the best way to serve you, God?
If this is it, will you provide the means for me to succeed in these plans? Are you really good, God?