I realized tonight how very little I know about my friends. I thought about my closest friends and about their 20-25 years of life. I know who they are now, and I know where they came from. I know big things like where they went to high school, how many siblings they have, and who they’ve dated. I know random memories, and I could tell you a brief history of their lives (or very detailed, depending on the friend), but I don’t really know them.
Even my closest friends have more memories than I’ll ever be able to know and more emotions tied to those feelings than I’ll ever understand. I can try to know my friends, and I will keep on learning about them as we get older, but I will never know them completely. It is impossible.
This made me think about how I can begin to know God. If I will never fully know my friends — the people who are closest to me and with whom I share the deepest parts of me — how can I ever begin to fathom God? I will keep learning about God for all of my life, but I will never know him completely. He is far too great for me to fit in my small understanding.
Yet God knows me, completely, from the inside out. There are no surprises. I can keep nothing hidden. Every hurt, fear, joy, desire, dream — he knows it all.
Tonight I rest in the beauty of God — of me being so small and seemingly insignificant, and he of such greatness and vastness, such an unworthy pair, yet he chooses me to be his bride. I’ll never understand it all, but it is beautiful.
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. Psalm 139:1-4