I’m not here.

“I want to let you in on a little secret…
I’m not really here.
I mean, I AM physically in front of you.
But my mind is somewhere else.
My heart is somewhere else.
Sometimes I feel like I am in so many places
that I can’t just —> BE HERE <—
and I wonder if YOU ever feel the same way.
I wonder if YOU’RE not really here.”

I struggle so much with being here.

I don’t have a lot of regrets. I don’t really struggle with my past, but I do dwell on it. I miss how life was. I miss South Africa. I miss living in the dorms. I miss playing cops and robbers. I miss the summer that I was 12. I miss a lot of things, and sometimes I let those things take over my heart for a while.

The future often dwells in my heart too. I want to have answers. I want to fulfill dreams. I want to know what God is up to. All. the. time.

I need to be still. I need to be here. I need to know that God is God.

Katy posted this video today and it captured me. Be still. Be here. Be still and know that I AM God. Watch, enjoy, be here.

(I don’t usually post this many videos in one week, but this one is so good!)

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