Music and my identity.

Music used to be my identity.

I could tell you the latest greatest bands.
I had all the lyrics memorized from my favorites.
I went to shows. Not all the time, but frequently enough.

But when I gave my life to Christ, that part of me needed to fade away.  And it was the hardest part of me to give up. I knew that my identity could not be found in my God and in music, so I had to choose. It was the best decision I could have made, but it left a huge hole in who I was becoming. It took a long time to be ok with not having that identity, and even now sometimes it hurts to feel that music is no longer a part of me.

I still enjoy music so very much, but for a couple years my music choices have been very limited, and I have been careful not to let my heart slip into a slow fade. Music is my slow fade. When I give it a foothold it satisfies my emotions, and I find myself feeling like I need less and less of God.

Recently though, I have felt God telling me that it’s ok to go back to music, not as my identity, but as a joy in life. I know that at any time I may have to give it back up, but for now, it’s something that I can find joy in. He has some big plans for music in my life right now, and the lives of some dear people in my life — you’ll get to know about all that soon! But above all of that, He’s given me some sweet sweet joy. It’s been hard to live without music as a constant melody in the back of my memories, in the front of my mind, but God has blessed me in letting me cherish the beauty of music– its words, rhythms, melodies– instead of taking it for granted. It is so much sweeter now.

Last night I went to my first show in over 2 years — Noah Gundersen, with Brier Rose and The Globes. It was a huge deal for me to be there and to be experiencing the joy of music once again. I had a splendid time listening to my friends who are in Brier Rose, and discovering the wonderful, sweet sounds that are Noah Gundersen/ The Courage.

Have you given anything up recently? What do you need to give up?

Here are a few pictures of my night (Afro=Brier Rose, Dreads=Noah) and my favorite song of Noah Gundersen for you to enjoy with me.

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