Sex and dating: 2

I’ve been putting this post off for over a week now. “Why,” I ask myself. Because, it’s awkward. Who wants to read about sexual sin on the internet? Who would blog about that? The common Christian reaction to this kind of sin is to shun those people or keep it hushed. The common worldly reaction is the opposite, acceptance. But what is God’s reaction? It is forgiveness and love. That should be our reaction as well.

Though for most of my life I thought these things didn’t actually happen, that they only happened to those people, whoever they are, I’ve come to realize that this sin, although treated differently than others, is just as common. People are tempted just the same. People struggle just the same. Just as lying, stealing, and drunkenness are sins, and they are all forgiven by our mighty God, so sexual sin is forgiven.

On February 1, my church had a second night of a dating/sex talk. This time, it was mostly about sex. These are some notes that I took that I think could be beneficial, and that’s why I’m posting this awkward, hush-hush, “who wants to read it anyway,” blog.

Dating in high school.
Is it ok, is it not ok? Although I’m not in high school anymore, I liked what my youth pastor had to say. Well, what’s the point of dating? Dating is to get to know someone. My youth pastor encouraged us to date for the purpose of getting to know people, to be comfortable with guys/girls in conversation. Learn how to be friends and have fun. Nothing physical.
-The more you know about yourself, the easier it’s going to be to have boundaries.
-Even when mentors/pastors tell you what is right, you need to find out for yourself what is the right thing to do. What is right has to mean something to you.

God in relationships.
How can I include God in my relationship?
-Put God first in your relationship.
-If you can love God first, you can love that person.
-If you can’t find God in your relationship with that person, it will be hard to find Him in your life.
-When you’re following God, you desire him more. If you’re not going to church because of that person, this should be a red flag. You should want to be closer to God, not farther from Him. Those people who hold you accountable are at church, and you don’t want to go to church, this should be the red flag.
-Two of you together should be a better picture of who God is. If you’re both following God, you can encourage each other.
-Be careful not to be too intimate. If you or the other person is using God as an excuse to be alone with this person.. Red flag.

Freedom in relationships.
-God wants us to be free.
-When we choose sex outside of marriage, it makes us captive. You become a slave to need rather than desire/want.

Turkeys.
Don’t preheat the oven if you’re not going to cook the turkey.
It would be foolish to preheat the oven if you’re not going to cook something…Think about it.

Unexpected explicit sin.
-Run. Tell somebody. Lose your pride. Call out to God.
-Telling someone is important. If you keep it inside, the sin grows. No one knows and there is no one to hold you accountable. It becomes easier to keep on sinning.
-When watching movies, don’t fall in love with the picture of broken relationships. Movies that idealize adultery or sex before marriage, they put a picture in your mind of what relationships are “supposed to look like.” But they aren’t like that. Those relationships are very broken.

Wrapping it up.
There is a struggle, and it’s always present. But why is it so hard? I’m never tempted to murder someone…Lying, stealing, murder. Society will tell you that those sins are wrong. Sexual sin? Society says that it’s good.

Christ died for freedom so that we can be free. Galatians 5:1

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2 thoughts on “Sex and dating: 2

  1. It is really hard in this time of life not to fall victim to sexual sin. Especially after you have been married, then you divorce and start dating again and try to stay away from sex while dating, it is next to impossible..I know from experience. But God is graceful, and forgiveness is amazing! I cling to that! And I found love and acceptance in my new husband of eight years!

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