A letter that I wrote to myself a year ago at youth group. I just got it in the mail today. It’s filled with foreshadowing of 2008. What a good year.
To: The person whom I will become by January 2009,
At the beginning of 2007 I made the resolution to Find Jesus. I think it was funny how He sort of found me. My life has been turned upside down & not all of it is what I would have expected. Who am I kidding. I didn’t expect any of it, and yet I find myself approving of this perfect and mighty plan. No matter how painful it has been to watch my life change. I know that He is greater than anything I will ever face, and I will never face any of the great trials by myself. I’ve lost a great amount this year. Oh let me count thy losses: (loss of 3 friends).
And yet today God reminded me of a verse: “No one can serve two masters. Either he will love one and hate the other or be devoted to one and despise the other.” I can not be a Jesus follower and a the same time be who the world wants me to be. I can’t be both without compromising who I really am. Maybe I need to let go. Let go of all the things that the world is telling me I can still have even after I put Jesus first. But it isn’t true. I cannot be both persons.
And so this year I resolve to let go. To let go of everything. Not just the things that are easy to let go of but the hard things too. I will let go of friendships, my security at my job, the fear of losing my mom, and the hope of finding love. I don’t want to to give up on these things, as long as they are what God has in store for me, but I will let go of whatever puts a chasm between us. I will put Him first and though I may be scared, I will put my trust in Him & therefore I will never be alone.
This year I will fall in love with Jesus, really, really fall in love with Him so that He is all I need. He will be my everything, my one true love. This year will be great! And I can’t wait until 2009, the best year yet, for letting go and becoming new, and for falling in love.
❤ always, Hannah
P.S. Thank you Jesus for all the friends I made this year. Where would I be without them? I resolve for a good winter and not a dark night of the soul.