Spare time.

Today I don’t have school or work or hardly anything else to do. I’m overwhelmed with time and nothing to do with it. Recently I’ve come to realize drastic differences in South Africa and America with spare time. How much we have. How we choose to use it. How we feel towards it.

In America I find that I don’t have a lot of spare time. But somehow, that’s ok with me. Perhaps this is something I need to work on. It seems that I am almost afraid of having time when I don’t have anything to do. It makes me feel like somehow I reached a point of insignificance in my day. There is nothing to do, no one to see, no one to please. How sad that I would feel so terrible about having time to relax, and yet I do. I do not like to be alone unless it is something I have already scheduled into my day. I nearly go insane, itching for something to do or someone to talk to. The sad part is how we choose to spend that time. Perhaps we’ll go to bed early, avoiding doing anything at all or stary up late stalking on facebook. Maybe we’ll spend hours watching mindless TV or gourge ourselves with food while watching mindless TV. Not all nights are like this, of course. There are some that seem to find their significance, but usually that significance is scheduled into my planner.

In South Africa, it’s an entirely different world. During the week, there was hardly any spare time except in the evenings, the same as here in America. Somehow that spare time was not something that I feared but rather something that I treasured. We would spend the unscheduled moments knitting, writing home to our families, playing Phase 10, baking brownies, laying out in the sun, reading a good book, spending time with our Lord, singing, swing dancing, partying, watching movies together as we all found a way to squeeze in to the den.  We talked with each other, gazed at the stars, went on runs or walks, played soccer, fell on our faces trying to make it to the water on the zip line.

Hm. Maybe I should go knit.

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